Sage Advice

When You Find Your Long-Time Guy Friend As A Match


You’re browsing through your favorite dating site, checking out potential dating candidates. And then it happens. You see the picture, but you don’t really want to acknowledge it’s there. So you scroll past it – and then immediately scroll back up, just to make sure it’s really what you thought. Yup, confirmed. Your long-time guy friend. Cool.

After coming across the profile picture, pretending it’s not there, and then finally accepting it, you can’t stop yourself. You click to view his profile. And then the bad news comes in. You’re a 97% match. Based on the little questionnaire and all the matching demographics, you should basically already be married and popping out a few kids with this guy. Ugh.

How exactly do you deal with this?

  • Blocking/Hiding: You can choose to block and/or hide the profile from any searches. Is this the most immature way to handle it? Probably. Does it accomplish what you need? Sure does.
  • Ignore: It is actually possible to ignore that you saw the profile at all. You basically pretend that it never showed it, you never checked out the profile, and you NEVER bring it up in person. Also slightly immature? Yeah, but at least you don’t feel awkward anymore.
  • Acknowledgment: The final way of dealing with this is just coming out and acknowledging that you saw the profile. Either send a quick note (Hey – we’re a match! Pretty hilarious, right?), or actually bring it up next time you see each other.

So why is acknowledging it the best approach? It’s important to remember that there are LOTS of people searching for a companion, soul mate, or booty call through online dating sites. It’s bound to happen that you will eventually come across someone you know. There’s no need to panic about that.

The best way to accept this though, is remembering that you’re friends for a reason. It’s completely reasonable that you’d be matched as a potential couple. You already are a couple! A couple of great friends that is! (Yes, I did go super corny with that one, go with it.) Friendships are built by finding common interests, likes, dislikes, and values as another person. Romantic relationships work in much the same way. So it actually shouldn’t be a surprise that you’d come across your long-time guy friend on a dating site. You’re friends for a reason and those reasons are why you’re matched on the dating site. As a matter of fact, HowToWithCourtney and I are actually a 90% match on one of our mutual dating sites. So, there’s that for an example of how this all works.

Make a joke out of being matched, and then go ahead and make plans to hang out. You were probably going to hit each other up for drinks or something soon anyway.

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