Not So Tall Tales / Tales From The Crypt

Never Open With Your Penis Size

Recently I rejoined the world of online dating. after taking a brief hiatus of dating all together I figured it would be good to cannonball into the sea of men that were clearly dying to meet me.

So I did, and  this is what I found in my inbox;

Hey what’s going on? I like that you are adventurous, enjoy the outdoors, dogs and have a sense of humor. It seems like you have yourself together and you look great in your pictures. Maybe we could go on a date sometime. Also just an fyi, girls seem to assume that because I am tall, other parts of me are big as well, but its not. Sorry if that is TMI or too weird but since I’m online dating, I decided to put that out there at the start instead of girls finding out after a month or two because I know that is a deal breaker for some girls haha

Color me shocked when I read “Also just an fyi, girls seem to assume that because I am tall, other parts of me are big as well, but its not.” I know I had been out of the game for a little bit but this seemed a little bit out of the ordinary, so when we IMed me I questioned him.

Me: So when we’re talking aren’t as big as you…what are we dealing with. 

Him: 3.8. 

Me: Oh, I’m sorry. 

Him: Me too. 

Screen shot 2013-07-30 at 4.18.32 PM

At that point I told him if he hadn’t led with the baby carrot line I would’ve been more interested in getting to know him. But for me, at least, I’m not on the fast track to knowing your penis size. I’d rather get to know you a bit more, call me old fashioned but hey that’s just how I roll – unless I’m drunk, then I roll very differently.

10 thoughts on “Never Open With Your Penis Size

  1. The guys who open with their small penis size are pretty much 100% of the time into small dick humiliation as a fetish. He’s trying to get you to react in a specific way so he can get off. It’s disingenuous and rude (nonconsensually involving you in his orgasms). If that’s not your ballgame (tee hee), steer clear.

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