Those who are bored are typically boring. I’ve heard my sister mumble that to my nieces for the past six years. Up until now I was on her side – then I met the fire fighter. Not only did I feel bored around him, but his boring manner literally extended to whichever restaurant we were in – causing hoards of people to fall under his boring spell.
Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true… but you get the picture. Some people got hit with the ugly stick, others got whacked in the head with the boredom stump. This guy was the latter. While I enjoyed the numerous stories he threw at me about his obsession with all things fire fighter-esque, I was a bit done after ten minutes with this kid.
Tip number one: If you can’t make it through the first 15 minutes without searching for an escape route, chances are you should end the drinks there.
However Mr. Boring couldn’t take a hint and I couldn’t say no – so we got dinner. It didn’t help that I was absolutely starving and felt bad because I had already cancelled twice on him.
So we got sushi.
Tip number two: If your date splits two sushi rolls with you and continues to drone on about his love affair and/or past relationships run, don’t walk, the eff out of there.
Once we got to sushi he suggested we split two specialty rolls. Clearly he wasn’t aware that I could put away four on my own – so I said sure and we split the rolls. The entire conversation over dinner consisted of him discussing his passions (which I had no interest in), and past relationships. By the time the last piece of roll was dunked in soy sauce, I was half out my chair and flagging down the waitress for the bill.
Tip number three: If your date mentions a second date in the same sentence as admitting he’s done speed dating seven times in the past month, don’t take him up on it.
Mr. Boring and I did not see each other again – though to his benefit he did try and snag a second date. Unfortunately for him, I started using sleeping pills to doze off and didn’t need him to put me to sleep.