I’m an optimist. I sometimes wish things so hard that I expect they will come true.

Sadly this doesn’t work, as example by my lack of a boyfriend for one. 

My ex and I started talking again, things had been going well. Weeks filled with sleep overs, dinners, and long walks with the dog. Everything was going so well.

Then he tells me he has a first date coming up.

I lost it. I hadn’t dated anyone for over a month and a half and wasn’t ready to have that talk with him yet. It was a dagger through my already torn apart heart. I had been wishing things would work out between us for so long and then it just all came crumbling down.

Even now as I’m writing I’m crying, my poor dog doesn’t know what to make of it either – she just keeps looking at me like “Well, what’d you expect chick?”

I don’t know what I expected.  I had hoped things would change and he’d say he loved me, I guess. But I didn’t voice that. I just played the ever-so-cool carefree ex-girlfriend who can still be friends with benefits.

However, that’s not me, or what I’m looking for. And if I had voiced my concerns early on I probably would’ve been better off. Instead I got in too deep and stayed with the motto that feelings are messy and communication is bad (thanks dad for those wise words).

Please learn from me. Don’t simply wish for things until they come true. Take action and try to do something about it before it’s too late.