Not So Tall Tales

Five Reasons I’m Better Than a 19-Year-Old

Too Young For you BroBeing dumped is awful. What’s more awful is being dumped for a 19-year-old.

I had been seeing a guy for awhile when I got this weird feeling that things weren’t going so great. When I finally asked him when our next date would be, he suggested that we meet to “talk about how things are going.” I knew immediately that the dating translation of that statement was “I’m going to end things with you.”

After the breakup, I naturally went through my routine of post-breakup actions: drink, change Facebook privacy settings so he couldn’t see me, drink, and go out with friends and drink. You know, the normal things.

After a few weeks, I checked his Facebook page. I just wanted to check out what was going on with the girl who was deemed “better” than me. (“Better” actually came up in his breakup speech, true story.)  That’s when I got a glimpse of this girl. This teenage girl. This immediately made me question how this teenage girl could be “better” than me.

Except, a teenager couldn’t possibly be better.

Here’s what I came up with:

  • I’m not 19.
  • You don’t have to worry about scheduling dates around finals or papers.
  • You can bring me to a bar (and other 21+ events).
  • No teenage drama since I’m what many people consider an adult.
  • Dating me is not creepy.

I mean, if you’re going for that whole “almost jailbait” thing, I guess a 19-year-old is a good choice. But if you actually want to have a serious relationship and you’re approaching your 30s, a teenager is probably not the strongest choice.

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