When a guy ends things with me, especially one who had been seeing me steadily for awhile, I go through a “routine” of sorts after the breakup. One of these things includes immediately checking his profile on the dating site where we first met. I don’t really know what drives this compulsion. It’s not like I think I’ll find some kind of tidbit of information that should have tipped me off about the impending breakup. I think it’s more to see how active he is after deciding I wasn’t perfect for him.
After being dumped for a 19 year-old, I wanted to see if this guy had decided to take down his profile. Considering he told me that he was leaving me for someone “better” and was now listed as being “in a relationship,” I had to see if his profile was still active. I logged into the dating site and… there he was.
Jump forward another two months. After being taunted with images of him and the teenager on Facebook, I did a quick search for his username. STILL THERE! Not only was he still on there, but he had been on that very morning!
This naturally led me to ask why a guy who is allegedly in a “happy” relationship would still be active on a dating site. Here’s what I came up with:
- You’re in an open relationship
- You’re hoping to have a threesome and he’s in charge of finding the third
- You have the clap (or any other super fun STI) and gave him a hall pass until it clears up
- He doesn’t think he’s good enough for you so he’s finding you a better boyfriend
- He is a grade-A douche.
Bonus reason: You’re in a fight with your best friend and he’s trying to find you a new one.
I think the point here, is there really isn’t a reason for your man to continue to be active on a dating site. You should probably be concerned about that.