Hey, remember that time I had three margaritas and slept with a member of my therapy group? Oh, I never told you about that one? Well sit back, relax, and prepare to hear how my life got flipped, turned, upside down.
I was four sessions deep when he joined. He walked in and I just knew he’d be trouble, Taylor Swift did too because that was around the time her song was released…we have a connection thing, like twins. We’ll come back to Taylor though.
He walked in and I knew I was screwed, literally and figuratively. He sat next to me, clearly because I’m the pretty one, and we bonded over social media and all things Internet. We were also the closest in age, and two of the more attractive people in the group. That night we walked out together and awkwardly said bye.
The next session I told him I found him on Twitter, but didn’t follow him because I didn’t want to break the “no talking outside of group” rule our fearless leader had put in place. We both laughed and followed each other. And after a week of banter through my favorite bird’s social media site we were back in our beloved room, across from each other, staring one another down.
However, that night was different. That night when we walked out together I asked if he wanted to go to Starbucks – heck yes I grew a pair of lady balls and made the first move. He said yes, so we walked together. After two hours of trying to decipher the subtext of our conversation we moved ourselves to the mexican restaurant across the stress…where we had a light dinner and three GIANT margaritas.
I will stop you here because you need to know I get drunk after two cape codders. I’m not a drinker by any means but felt it necessary to try and keep up with this hottie.
It was midnight when we finished, still unsure what the other thought as we stumbled our way to where the bus and T awaited us. Once we realized neither were running that night, I casually – and slurring I’m sure – offered he stay at my place, on the couch of course.
As soon as we stumbled into my basement room of my four bedroom apartment it was clear the couch would be lonely tonight. He quickly grabbed me once inside my room and laid one on me (that’s shoved his tongue down my throat for the under 40 crowd) – I soon realized he was just as into me as I was into him.
Here I’ll fast forward through all the naughty bits.
It was well after four AM when we went to sleep, we had stayed up chatting, discussing how right we were for each other, and laughing about how stupid we were for breaking the one rule of group therapy. When morning came so did my hang over, and the awful feeling that I did something stupid.
Something Stupid then rolled over and kissed me.
The next week in group therapy was one of the most painfully embarrassing moments of my life, Something Stupid had called our therapist to tell her he was out of the group and why. So the therapist told the group why.
Unless you have any interest in explaining to a group of strangers why you wanted to drunkenly hook up with someone, I highly suggest you don’t sleep with someone from your therapy group – just putting it out there.
By the next session I was gone from therapy and so was he also gone from my life. And I realized group therapy may not be the best solution for me, well as long as it was mixed with 20-something guys and I was single it was not the best solution for me.