Contributed / Not So Tall Tales

Tinder: An Introduction

Meet Charlotte, one of our new BBFs! We found our new friend on Twitter where she shares all of the juicy details of her Tinder dates (an area of dating we know nothing about). Obvi we felt a kinship with her and just HAD to have her on the blog. We hope you enjoy her as much as we do! 

Tinder is the latest dating app to hit smart phones everywhere. While we have yet to download this date finder, Charlotte has – and she filled us in on some of the gems lurking anonymously about on this phone app, waiting to pounce. So take a seat, whip out your phone, and get ready for an intro to one of the trendiest and most popular dating apps right now.

Definition: Free online dating app that lets you choose people based purely on looks. Shallow? Superficial? Maybe, but at least you know you’ll be physically attracted to them.  All that other “let’s connect on a deeper level” stuff can come later.

Associated terminology:

  • TinDate: pretty straightforward – go on a date with someone you met through Tinder

E.g. lunch, drinks etc. etc.  The first TinDate should be kept quite simple as it allows easy get-out options.  it’s quite hard to bail on a three-course meal or a round of golf.

  • Tinderized: in real life, person turns out to be not as hot/tall/funny as they were on Tinder

Case study: I had already asked Running Boy how tall he was, he’d responded with 5’10”.  Running Boy seemed to have quite witty banter and an acceptable degree of flirtiness when we’d been exchanging instant messages.  Running Boy had also looked pretty hot in his photos, although most of them were of him wearing Ray-Bans, and let’s face it who doesn’t look good in Ray-Bans?  In the flesh: completely different story.  Definitely NOT 5’10”, more like 5’7″, i.e. barely one inch taller than me.  Strike One.  All the wit and flirtiness was replaced with boring self-satisfaction.  Strike Two.  And it turned out the reason for the excessive use of shades was a severe squint and a face that was more than a little lopsided.  Strike Three.  Voila, I’d been Tinderized.

  • TinDumped: go on a TinDate and never hear from them again.  Or have several lengthy conversations and similar thing happens

Case study: I went on a couple of dates with White Boy, things were going really well, and we finally got to The Big Third Date, and we all know what that means…  I even got driven home the next morning in White Boy’s convertible Audi!  Have I heard from him since?  No.  I let ten days go by before sending him a picture of a tumbleweed.  Still waiting for a response…

  • TinDanger: when a guy mentions his man parts in the first few lines, or opens with ‘wanna f**k?’

lightbulb edit

  • TinDull: person who can’t come up with anything more original than ‘Hey’ as their opening line

hey

  • TinDemented: person becomes stalkerish, won’t stop sending messages despite lack of reply, and manages to find you on Facebook despite you never having given them your last name

Case study: I honestly don’t know how Total Creep did it, but he found me on LinkedIn and Facebook.  We’d exchanged a few messages and only gave away vague details about work occupation, living location etc.  Still baffled as to how he found me.  Perhaps Total Creep is wasted in financial services and should join the police department.

What’s your experience with Tinder? Any love connections yet – or just  horror stories to share?  

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19 thoughts on “Tinder: An Introduction

  1. He may have found you through google image search. It’s where you take an image and google shows all the other websites it’s been used on.

    I’v never used Tinder, but I do use POF.

  2. I stopped using tinder a few weeks ago… too many douches for my liking lol. My coworker showed me cliqie.com and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as “wingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

    • lol I actually think you should teach that class. The thing is – people call it stalking… but honestly, I think when people leave their profiles open to the whole world they are asking for it. It’s like leaving your blinds and curtains open on a first floor apartment that everyone walks by anyway and then being like “OMG people glanced in at me.”

      • Exactly! I don’t have any real internet hacking capabilities. So what I find on people is just being clever with keywords in Google. There are ways to make it harder for people to search for you. So if you don’t put your profiles on lock-down, that’s not really my fault.

        P.S. LOVE the window analogy for this one. That’s EXACTLY how the whole thing works. I will borrow that when I open up registration for my Internet Detecting 101 class. It’ll come under the “ethics” section.

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