I opted out of the dating scene for most of the summer. I was tired of faking attraction and had recently been told I was fat from the guy who – days later – told me he loved me… no way was I ready to jump into a swarm of Boston men.
So I stayed in on weekday nights, hung out with friends, enjoyed puppy mom-hood (yeah I went there), lived the life. Along the way I picked up some lessons learned that I hope will help you all as we approach relationship season.
1. Drinking wine and eating pizza alone at home is not pathetic. Even better, get a six-pack of beer, a frozen pizza, salt and vinegar chips and a good action movie (depending on the season I recommend Italian Job, The Avengers, or The Day After Tomorrow). Do not answer your phone or look at your Facebook feed for the next eight hours. You’re welcome.
2. We all need to have enjoyed at least one meal completely alone at a restaurant. Phones off, books down. Carrie did it, so we have to do it. While I have almost conquered this – I chickened out at the last moment and spent the lunch casually checking my email and responding – it’s still something I need to do before I even consider getting married. If you can’t take yourself out to lunch, then who else will want to?
3. Stop ignoring your friends when you swan dive into a relationship. Since finally breaking from dating I was able to hang out with my friends more than usual. And you know what… I missed them! I missed them so much! It was nice to finally reconnect with them and not be gushing over men (though that may have happened 20% of the time… just because I was alone didn’t mean they were). Regardless of your status make sure to always make time for your friends. But if you’re committing to a no-dating policy, head for the heard of friends you left, chances are after a glass of wine (on you – hey you abandoned them) they’ll open up their arms and hearts to you again.
4. Getting to know yourself is necessary for your mental health. We are all a little crazy. So before jumping into anything, take a second to understand where our crazy comes from. This goes for both men and women, by the way.
5. It’s okay to admit that being single sucks sometimes. There are days when all I wanted was to curl up on the couch and drown my sorrows in my ex-boyfriends arm wrapped snugly around me. Nights when I would give anything for a warm body next to me (a human body – Zoey is always snuggled next to me) . And it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to cry because you’re lonely. That does not make you a hag or a destined to be cat lady. It makes you human. And that’s okay.