Perusing the Internet yesterday, I came across this great article where the author describes women who are lighthouses versus those who are the Bermuda Triangle. In a nutshell, the lighthouse woman is a beacon of light that attracts men to her. She doesn’t need to look for suitors – they not only come to her, sometimes they wait around even when she’s unavailable just in the hopes that may change at a moment’s notice. The Bermuda Triangle woman is mostly unknown and possibly a little scary and confusing and is avoided (just in case).
I’m a Bermuda Triangle.
Unlike the author, I have had dates and even a boyfriend once or twice. But I still consider myself to be the woman who’s mostly avoided in dating situations. Finding a date is a struggle. Getting someone to ask me out is an all-out Olympic event. Finding someone to stick around for more than one date? Forget it. But this statement still sums up dating life for me:
“It’s just that Bermuda doesn’t know how to handle itself when somebody sails into its territory, because that hardly ever happens. It hasn’t had much chance to practice, and it’s used to things going a certain way. So if a sailor DOES come around, it gets a little nervous, freaks the fuck out, and creates hurricane-like devastation in every direction around it. And then it gets embarrassed and sad and calls its friends.”
I have a few friends though who are lighthouses. If you quizzed me, I couldn’t tell you a time they were single for more than a few weeks at most. Men just flock to these friends. They get a ton of messages on online dating sites. In a bar, it’s like they’re the only woman in the entire place. I’ve actually had a lighthouse friend get asked out while a boyfriend was sitting next to her. For me, it’s a like watching a strange scientific phenomenon unfold right before my eyes.
And I’m incredibly jealous of my lighthouse friends.
It’s not that I don’t want them to get dates and be happy – but I would like to know there’s hope for me too. Perhaps I’ve been shadowed by my lighthouse friends for too long. Maybe there’s something else in between the lighthouse and the Bermuda Triangle. Possibly a shark (I like sharks), but that sounds too aggressive. I don’t really know. For now, I’ll be out there swimming around until I figure out what that middle-ground is.