Not So Tall Tales

The Shocking Outcome of Two Tinder Dates

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Truth: I’ve been dabbling in Tinder as a social experiment.

Some of my guy friends convinced me that I should test it out. So I downloaded it, swiped right, swiped left, and then forget I had it on my phone for several weeks (maybe a month… who knows). And then I found it again, hidden away in a folder (because I’m one of three people I know who organizes apps into folders on their phone instead of letting them all roam free, unorganized and chaotic). Just a swipey, swipe, swipe – and I got some conversations going on.

The first conversation turned into scheduling a date pretty quickly. MY FIRST EVER TINDER DATE! Clearly, I was excited and terrified.

Here’s an overview of that date. I warned him prior to setting it that I had a cold and probably wouldn’t make a very good first impression. He said that he didn’t mind, as long as I still felt up to going out. We met at a Starbucks where, after ordering drinks, they lost our cups and we waited an incredible amount of time before the really nice person making the drinks noticed we’d been in front of her forever. We had been chatting the whole time and hadn’t really noticed anything though. We got drinks and then grabbed some seats to sit and talk more. It was all the normal, bland, get-to-know-you conversation you use on a typical first date. After coffees we opted to walk around outside for a while. It was freezing out and we ducked into a bar after a block or two. We had a few beers together at this Mexican place and continued to chat. Still no extraordinary conversation, just the “I have a dog and a sister and live in an apartment” type of thing. We headed to the subway and got ready to board our trains heading in opposite directions and the date was over.

Shocking outcome of Tinder Date #1: DISAPPOINTINGLY BORING.

In the meantime, I had been talking with Tinder Suitor #2 and had finally set a date after several weeks of text chatting (which drives me crazy, for anyone interested in courting me). We made plans to meet halfway at a chain restaurant. (FYI: Chain restaurants are lazy. I appreciate when someone finds a local place, even if you know nothing about it.) I arrived a few minutes late and had to call him to find where he had been seated. We do that awkward first date hug and he starts staring at me. I’m not talking giving me the once-over to evaluate if I looked like my pictures. I mean full on stare. The staring continued throughout dinner and then after. Conversation with him was normal, typical first date type things. Nothing that interesting or exciting. But the staring was just unnerving. After our meals were done and the waitress had cleared the table and left a bill, I was ready to reach for my wallet and get out. I couldn’t tell if he was just enamored with me or if he was plotting to make a suit out of my skin. The staring was just kind of ridiculous. After what seemed like forever, we finally paid the bill and walked to our cars.

Shocking outcome of Tinder Date #2: MOSTLY BORING.

After all I had heard about the horrid events that are many TinDates, I was somewhat disappointed that both dates were rather boring for me. Neither date resulted in more dates, but neither date was “amazing” enough for me to be upset about that. I was more just shocked that my dates were rather tame.

But I guess that’s what you get with Tinder – a roulette game with dates.

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