Contributed / Not So Tall Tales

Blast From the Past

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s resisting the urge to get in touch with guys from my past.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been many occasions (usually vodka is involved) where I toy with the idea of a casual text or a “whoops so sorry, I called the wrong Charlie, how are you anyway?”  But a determination to retain my dignity and the moral high ground has prevailed.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about various guys.  Since I started on this whole Tinder/online dating/blogging adventure, a few worms have come out of the woodwork.  After all, they probably think, she’s clearly single, therefore this MUST be a good idea, right?

WRONG!  The way I see it, a guy is in the past for a pretty damn good reason.  The guy I hooked up with a couple of times at university?  Absolutely awful in bed.  And no I don’t find the thought of “teaching” him particularly appealing.  The guy I was seeing for a bit one summer?  Great body but dead wood between the ears.  Actual ex-boyfriends?  Well, they’re exes.  Nuff said.

Then there are the ones who haven’t even made it past the first date stage.  The Hulk and I went for a drink last September, and the date has stuck in my mind as being one of the most boring hours of my life.  I thought he was of the same opinion, until a couple of weeks ago when a little “hey Charlotte how’s it going?” message popped up on my phone.  In my opinion, there are various options as to why this happened:

  1. He was drunk
  2. He was horny
  3. He was drunk and horny
  4. He was exceedingly bored
  5. He was exceedingly stupid

I’m tempted to go with a combination of 1 and 5…

Now before you go thinking “this girl is just bragging about all the male attention she’s getting,” trust me, I’m not.  I don’t want messages from someone I went on a few dates with but haven’t heard from for months saying “horny man, what are you up to?”  I don’t want a guy telling me that we’re a 65% match on OKCupid and that means we HAVE to go on a date.  It’s annoying, frustrating, and takes up valuable emotional energy.

Imagine if the opposite happened, and girls started cropping up months or even years after a date or two happened.  They’d be labelled as bunny-boiling clingy psychos.  So what do we call the men that do it?  One word: delusional.

doormat

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